Friday, June 5, 2009

Where Have You Gone Tom Emanski???

It wasn't very long ago that you couldn't watch a single baseball game on TV without seeing a commercial for "Tom Emanski Teaches Defensive Drills" being endorsed by everyones favorite ball player the Crime Dog Fred McGriff.
Upon doing further research I've come to a few ideas about what happened to our beloved hero:

1. Those kids that you see throwing the baseball into the garbage can finally decided to cut Emanski up and throw him into one. I've still got a good arm and maybe not from CF, but definitely from 2B I could throw a ball into the can, but what for???? Sure it might build arm strength, and kinda cool to say "I threw a baseball into a trash can from 300 feet away for a baseball video" but are are of these kids in the bigs???? Hell no they aren't cause that serves no purpose in the game. After not one of the kids were drafted they all revolted, cut him into pieces, and stood at the pitchers mound tossing body parts into a trash can.

2. Getting tired of being referred to as "Baseball Superstar Fred McGriff" by Mr. Emanksi; Fred decided to show him what the Crime Dog is all about. Rumor has it that Mr. McGriff is also wanted in the slaying of blog favorite, Keith Sweat, they found his head, but....

3. According to Wikipeida, our favorite baseball instructor, as of 2003 at least, is being sought by the IRS for unpaid taxes. I can see Emanski living in a wooded shack, Unibomber style, using his quick double play turning hands and feet to move from tree to tree escaping whatever federal agents are after him. If Will Ferrell can take on Bear Grils I'd like to see Tom Emanski try.

4. Due to the unpaid taxes Emanski cut a deal with Homeland Security; he's teaming with Chuck Norris to find Osama Bin Ladin's hid out and afterwards they're going to film the worlds greatest Mt. Dew commercial ever- my money's on this one.

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