Many of you might not know that I coach a local 13 year old baseball team. Over the weekend we were in Gatlinburg dominating a tournament. We won the whole damn thing thanks to my brilliant coaching and pitching strategy. That's not the point of this though. During our 2nd game on Saturday we had a 97 year old man behind the plate umpiring. He gave me a pin that had an umpire running on it and it said "I get no respect". That's not the point of this either though. The point is that he sucked as an umpire and made the most ridiculous call you will ever hear of. Here it is. My 9 hole hitter comes to the plate, steps in, calls time and steps out but doesn't get the time called. The pitch is thrown while he is out of the box and the umpire calls 2, yes 2, strikes. 2 strikes, 1 pitch. I go insane much like Sweet Lou would. He says there was one strike for the pitch and another for a delay of game for stepping out. He could not be more wrong, he could try, but he would be unsuccessful. All that should happen is that there is a strike for the pitch because he was not granted time. Fine, strike one. He insists that its in the rulebook and I insisted that he was an old turd. The call stands and the kid strikes out. Luckily, my great coaching overcame this horrible call and we still won the game and the whole damn tournament. I'll be in the bigs in no time, trust me.