HBO is DaBomb

Ok so last week I got HBO. Basically the only reason was so I could watch "Hard Knocks". But now I'm in love with this channel. And I would suggest all Guys have this channel.......TODAY!!!

Here are the reason I have so far, for you to order HBO. No particular order.

A) Entourage-As seen above, these guys are classic twenty somethings yearolds, looking to make it big in the city of LA. The best part about the show is the girls. Hot chicks everywhere. I have already fallen in love with Sloan, seen in the yellow. But then you got Vince fucking every girl that he sees. Plus great celebrity appearences like Tom Brady and Jamie Lynn Seigler, you can't go wrong with this show.
B)Hung- A new show. People might think is kinda a gay because of the title. But truthfully this isn't just about this guys COCK. This is a show that would only make it on HBO. Its about a High School basketball coach, who loses his house in a fire. He has no money to rebuild, so he becomes a jigelo to make some extra money. He's known by his ex's for his super large member. Also this show has some remarkable hot babes, and as jigelo he's always banging them. So thats good TV right? His newest customer was last seen as the slutty daughter on "Dirty, Sexy, Money". He was banging her in the bathroom of a restauarant a few episodes a go.

C) The best part of HBO, besides being able to show naked chicks getting rammed is the ON DEMAND. If you have the ON DEMAND feature now with your basic digital cable, you probably don't use it very much. But with HBO on demand you can watch your shows and movies whenever you'd like. Yesterday, while working from Riverfront Headquarters I was getting bored of doing my damn TPS reports and was bored with Sportcenter for the 4th time that morning. So I checked out a series called "The Wire". Im not sure what the whole show is about. It kinda jumps to different angles all the time. From gangbangers, to journalist, to cops, to the mayor, to city council, to families of the cops, to whores, to gangbangers again and more dirty cops. I mean the concept is kinda crazy, but its very interesting and it keeps me entertained. Lots of sex, killing, drugs, and dirty cops. If you like that kinda stuff.

D) Then you got "Hard Knocks". Now Im sure i'll do a little review of that tomorrow after the premier tonight. I don't know about you, but Im excited. This should be some cool stuff for Bengals fans. It might be the best thing thats happened to this team since it made the playoffs.

E) Did I mention, HBO is uncensored. So you get naked girls, crazy sex scenes, and none of this edited language bullshit. Its kinda like our blog on TV.

E) Oh, and there are no god damn commericial with any of this shit.

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

1) Don't go mistaken me for a Florida Gator fan because of this blog today, because Im not. When it comes to college football I follow UK, UC, and USC. I don't even like Florida at all. But I love me some Tim Tebow. This guy might just be the greatest college football player of all time. He does it all. He's a runner, a passer, a scorer. If you put him at linebacker, he'd lead the team in tackles. No doubt. Rankings have Florida at #1 again this year to start the season, and I really don't see anyone beating Tebow this year as he gets his 2nd Hiesman and 3rd National Title.

2) The next Gator I want to talk about today is Erin Andrews. What the fuck happend to her? Did someone post a nude video or pictures of her or something? The bitch has fallen off the planet. Just kiddin, I know about the nude video. If you haven't seen it by now, sorry about ur luck. But seriously, ever since the story broke EA has just disappeared. Is she even still alive? I she posing for Playboy or what? Come college football time, we need her rockin' those sidelines.

3)Real quick on the Reds, cuz there not worth the time. Is it too difficult to try Brandon Phillips at SS. I mean, it might not work. But we will never know if you don't give it shot. Im not for it or against it. But I think with the way this team is playing, I'd try anyone anywhere.

4)Rod Woodson, Bruce Smith, and Derrick Thomas all make the Hall of Fame this weekend. Woodson was probably the greatest all around corner I've ever seen. He could hit, pick you off, and cover anyone. In my opinion he was a better corner than Deion. Bruce Smith was the Reggie White of my generation. He was a quarterbacks nightmare. And Derrick Thomas was the same way. This guy might have ended his career as the best LB of his time. He died tragically in a auto-accident. I remember him once having 7 sacks in one game. The best Chief of all time.

5)What the hell is going on with Andre Smith? He was the 6th pick. The 5th pick has signed for 47million and the 7th pick has signed for 38million. How hard is it to meet in the middle. And if you going to say, well one was a Quarterback and one was a WR??? Well, OL Jason Smith has also signed with the 2nd pick for $54million. Quit fuckin' around and get this guy in camp.

My Weekend

Here's what I did this weekend. That's a class 6 fucking rapid right there that I'm dominating. Look at the intensity. You think I give a fuck what that river was gonna throw at me, NO. I whooped the shit out of that weak ass little river. You might say "everyone else is laughing, it looks easy." I say, fuck you, those are laughs out of fear for their lives. I'd be laughing too if someone else was doing all the work(me). They asked me to be a tour guide after I dominated but I told them I already had a full-time gig as a badass and a part-time blogger.

P.S. Check out those pipes I'm showing off, I rarely work out.

"CHOO CHOO"

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

1) So apparently someone invented a "dissolving bikini" for dumped ex-boyfriends. This is genious I hope to see it become an international phenomenon.

2)Brought to our attention by Dennis Neagle on his last post, THE REDS BLOW. But they did manage to trade for a big named bat at the trade deadline. And possibly it makes them better next season. I like the deal. People are bitching about losing the young pitchers, but a good thing about the Reds Minor Leagues is that pitching seems to be something we have a lot of. Not to mention we finally have our first stable thrid basemen since Tony Fernandez or Chris Sabo. And oh, did I forget to mention we get rid of the worst god damn player this team has had in the past 10years in Easy E. Edwin, hope you find your glove, arm, bat, and a set of balls in Toronto.

3)Bengals training camp started this past weekend. I know I do this every year, but I think they finally might have something down in Georgetown this year. There are a couple of positions that Im nervous about. Center is one, but from what I have heard so far, Kyle Cook seems to be doing pretty good and looks a lot like Kyle Turley. I love the improved defense. Adding ReyRey Maluga and a healty Keith Rivers makes this team better. And Tank Johnson is going to be the best offseason move the Hoo-Dey has made in a long time.

4)Back to the Reds for a minute. Right now you can vote for the the next Reds Hall Of Famer on the teams website. I went voted this morning. Here is the problem. Some of these guys were good ball players. Some were great. But I don't any were Hall of Fame Reds. None of these guys have names like Pete Rose, Dave Concepcion, Tony Perez, Barry Larkin, Jose Rijo. If you haven't seen the ballot here it is:

Bret Boone

Jeff Brantley

Norm Charlton

John Franco

Danny Graves

Kevin Mitchell

Hal Morris

Paul O'Neil

Chris Sabo

Scott Sullivan

Some of these guys had great Reds careers. Some are and were huge fan favorites. But are they Reds Hall of Famers??? Your supposed to vote for 3. So I went with Spuds, Johnny Franco, and Paul O'Neil. Sabo or Franco will probably get the nod, but is Danny Grave the most deserving?? I mean I hate the Gravey Train, but he is the clubs ALL TIME SAVES leader. Not sure but he also might be the ALL TIME BLOWN SAVES leader also.

The Reds BLOW!!!!

Like I said a couple weeks ago, the Reds are not going to win this year. I personnally think they are 2 years away from being good. But right now, they are not very good. I love them to death but they make me want to puke watching them play, especially the dodgers. Their pitching has gone down the shitter, their hitting is clearly horrible and their fielding is brutal as well. They have about 5 Triple A players on this team and 3 of them start on a consistent basis. Let the fire sale begin. I'd bet about 16 bucks right now that Arroyo is gone. His last 3 starts have been pretty damn good including a complete game shutout of the Mets. I just hope they get some sort of shortstop in the deal because I can't watch Jerry Hairston Jr. much longer. At the very least this should open up some cap room to do some wheelin and dealin in the offseason. I wouldn't doubt if Arthur Rhodes is gone as well. Someone has to want him because he is nails in middle relief and they should get someone decent in return as well. There could be some others but I doubt it. No one wants Harang, who would want Weathers and Cordero makes too much damn money.

I'm gonna keep watching the Reds but damn do they frustrate the shit out of me. Here's to hoping that someone drills a hole in George Grande's hotel room and videotapes him ironing his short sleeve button down shirt in the nude.

"CHOO CHOO"

Greatest Head Cover Ever

How sweet is this head cover. That's Ryo Ishikawa and he's 17 yrs old. He played with Tiger the first 2 days of the British Open which is the only reason he was on tv. I don't know where he got this head cover made but I need one made of me. The more things look like me, the better. I'm 100% jealous.

"CHOO CHOO"

Road Head

So Wednesday I decided to actually go into work, instead of working from home as usual. I was on my way home at 4:30 in the afternoon. Traffic was pretty heavy and I soon realized I don't miss the 40min drive home at all. But then I saw something fantastic. A young black man, I would say in his early 20's was driving a white camry, old style. Kinda like the one I used to have. That maybe the first reason he caught my attention. Then I noticed a little dog or something on his lap. "Is that a puppy on this thugs lap?" I was thinking. No wait, its girl giving head. Now lets recap this.

Its 4:30 on Wednesday afternoon. We are driving southbound on I-75 at Ezard Charles. He is weaving in and out of traffic, and there is a girl giving him a Bow Job right here next to me. He slowed down and triedto lose me, but I wasn't about to let this end. I had to get a better look. So as we approached the bridge, he got up next to me. I could see this bitch bobbing on his knob so hard it was making me jealous. Im not going to lie, anytime you see someone else getting some road head, you yourself are going to want some too.

Road head has to be one of the greatest inventions in the world. Easily!!! I was thinking to myself later that day how proud I was of this young man. He had his Reds flatbill on, a white tee, windows down, music playing and it was like he didn't even know this bitch was deepthroating his cock. No big deal. He must get that everyday on his way to GABP preparing to play with the bucket boys. All I could do was, give him a thumbs up. Although he didn't see me, Im pretty sure he blew that load all over that bitches face.

Reds 25yr Aniversary Team (THE WORST)

Lance McCallister did this but I wanted to do my own. Here is Lances Team first.

C-Joe Oliver

1B-Sean Casey

2B-Brandon Phillips

SS-Barry Larkin

3B-Chris Sabo

OF-Eric Davis

OF-Dave Parker

OF-Adam Dunn

SP-Tom Browning

CP-John Franco

Manager-Lou Pinella

Now Lance seemed to pick a mix of his favorite guys and the best players. I agree with most although I'd have Jose Rijo as my starter and I'd have Rob Dibble or The Cowboy as my CP. How could he leave Kevin Mitchell out of the outfield, oh and Joey Votto is a better player now that Sean Casey ever was. Big Donkey's picks will be the worst players at each position in the past 25yrs.

C-Corky Miller

1B-Tim Costo

2B-D'Angelo Jiminez

SS-Royce Clayton

3B-Brandon Larson

OF-Chad Matola

OF-Corey Patterson

OF-Wily Mo Pena

SP-Eric Milton

CP-Danny Graves

Manager-Jerry Narron

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

1)BENGALS: So Vegas has set the teams over/under at 6 games. Am I crazy to think this team should easily win 7 or 8? Easily?

Also the Bengals have not come to a long term agreement with Shane Graham (picture above). Im kinda in between on this one. I think Shane is a good guy in the community and a pretty damn good kicker. He's not the kinda of kicker I like. Big footed. But he's got accuracry. I think the 1yr deal is a good idea. Because it give Shane 1 more year to kick for that big contract. If he proves he deserves the long term contract this year, I say give it to him. Just don't let him back at King Island.

What are the 3 positions that concern you the most with the Bengals? I would still say WR is #1 for me, then Center #2 and #3 would be the offensive line. All three have too much young unproven talent.

2)REDS: Whatever the experts are saying, this team isn't dead yet. But they need a great start to the 2nd half. Not an average start. They got 4 games vs. the Brewers and I think the Reds have 4 pitchers (Bailey, Arroyo, Harang, Cueto) that are better than the Brewers. If they can win 3 out 4 this team is on the right track. I would make a couple of changes though. I would bring Drew Stubbs up for Willy Taveres right away. Then I would let Chris Heisley come up also and play replacing Robert Manuel. Let these guy play while they are hot. They both should start 2 games this series together. Rotate Dickerson, Gomes, Nix in with them. See if either of these guys can give this team a spark offensively. Something has to be done, and obviously its not going to be getting Jermaine Dye or Scott Rolen.

3)British OpenToday starts the THE OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP. Here are the guys you should be rooting for so me and Dennis Neagle can win some big money:

Henrik Stenson

Luke Donald

Ross Fisher

Graeme McDowell

Paul Casey

Jim Furyk

Rory McIlroy

Hunter Mahan

Ian Poulter

Darren Clarke

and Tiger if you want to.

My Thoughts on the Future of our Redlegs

There has been much debate on whether the Reds should "buy or sell" near the trade deadline this year. Personnally, I think they should stayput with the squad that they have now. By no means should they trade any of their prospects away. I think they should dangle a few of their veteran pitchers(Arroyo, Harang, Weathers, Rhodes) and see what they can get for them. If the price isn't right, then stick with them.

The Reds are loaded with talent in the minor leagues for the first time since, well, since ever I think. They are loaded with pitchers as well which is why I wouldn't care if they got rid of some the costly veterans this year. I think Homer Bailey has finally arrived and should stick around for a while. We still have Maloney, Darryl Thompson, Justin Lehr and Travis Wood all at the Double A level or above. There are plenty more as well that you are more than welcome to look up here.

Position wise they are also pretty loaded. The OF is stacked with young fellas. Jay Bruce is already up here, Drew Stubbs and Chris Heisey should be up in September. Todd Frazier is playing well in Double A right now and will probably be in Triple A next year. We also have guys already playing for the Reds that are doing a decent job(Gomes, Nix, Dickerson). Basically, I'm not worried about the OF.

The infield is what I'm semi-worried about, except first base of course. What I'm particularly worried about is shortstop. If we could get a quality young SS in a trade for one of the pitchers I already mentioned above, then I'd love it. They have Chris Valaika at Triple A but he is hitting .231 right now. I think he could be the future SS but he better pick it up hitting wise. Juan Francisco could be the future 3B but he is still young and not ready. He also seems to throw the ball away as much as EE and I'm not ready to see more of that crap.

Let's be honest, this team isn't gonna win anything this year. I realize that we have been saying "wait til next year" for about 15 years now but this time I actually might believe it. The talent in our farm system has to be one of the tops in the league and the future is actually bright. I think trading away prospects now for a Scott Rolen would do more harm than good. But, what the hell do I know. They will probably trade 8 guys for Roy Halladay later this afternoon. Nah, I'm just kidding, I'm a genius and this is what Jocketty should do. In fact, he should probably hire me to do the day to day operations to ensure the Reds dominate in the future.

"CHOO CHOO"

Don't Call It A Come Back!

As LL said back in the day " cuz we never were gone".

Ok maybe we were. Maybe we just took a break. Maybe we were actually working. Knowing us though we probably weren't. But like Dennis said, we are here now and we'll be brining it like its never been brought before.

-Lets talk about this Jordan Crawford dunk. If I hear Hannah Storm pronounce it ExAvier one more freakin time Im going to slap that bitch. First of all, its not the fact that Lebron got dunked on, its the fact that a bigger deal was made about it just because he had the tapes confiscated. As for Jordan Crawford. I think this kid is going to be a very good player for X in the next few years. He's got a great scoring mentality. He can shoot better than his brother Joe. And apparently the kid can get up, cuz his 6'4" frame dunked the fuck all over LeBron James.

-Rasheed Wallace to Celtics. Rasheed is one of the most underrated players is the league and gets a bad rap because of his antics and attitude. But I love this guy. A 6'10" big guy that can flat out shoot the ball. The east is getting much more competitive and now the NBA is getting better to watch.

-REDS: This team has issues. Jay Bruce has a great arm. He has a weak ass bat. This guy doesn't need a couple days off, he needs 2 or 3 weeks in Loserville. Bronson Arroyo should have been traded when he was groovin. Dare I say Edinson Volquez's career years are beyond him. Johnny Cueto had been great until he decided to throw batting practice to the Phillies on Monday.

-My golf game was never that good, but right now its as bad its been since I was 11. I can't hit a drive without slicing it out of bounds. I used to rely on my irons. Now my irons have lost 30yrds and are slicing like driver. Im shooting in the 90's consistantly and Im close to quitting. Anyone have any tips or names of pro's that can give a good lesson for a decent fee?

-Erin Andrews apparently got hit by a baseball at a game the other night. Im sure thats not the first ball thats hit her in the face. HiiiiiiiiiiYOoooooooooo.

UC BBALL

I forgot. BORN READY mother fucker's. The Big East and the rest of the country is mortally fucked. UC IS BACK BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. How great of a nickname is Born Ready?

"CHOO CHOO"

Guess Who's Back

Guess who's back, back again, Neagle's back, tell a friend. I'm back mother fuckers. Where have I been, what have I been doing? Not a whole lot. I've been working at home for a month and a half and haven't put on pants in the same amount of time. Not much has happened in my absence except for the near death of this blog. I went to Vegas and got shitcanned while looking for the Montecito. The reds have not changed one bit and still frustrate the balls out of me. I got a haircut. I worked out for the first time in 2 months the other day. I think I'm gonna get a blackberry which will be neat. Somehow Anderson Varejao got a 6 year/$50 million contract from the Cavs. Lebron got dunked on and is too much of a pussy to let the world see it. Other than that not much has happened.

I don't know if this post will bring back the blog to the promise land or not but I know people are getting sick of staring at the same post for the last 3 weeks. I deeply apologize for not blogging lately but keeping up a blog is tougher than expected and not getting paid to do it is even harder. So basically, shut the hell up and blow me. Start your own blog.

"CHOO CHOO"

Big Donkey's Solo Shots (4th of July Edition)

1) Ok, so we know its been awhile and the millions and millions of fans out there are wondering what has happened. Well, were not going to lie here at Riverfront. We've been lazy. The blog lost its momentum, but have no fear Big Donkey is here. I'm going to do my best to bring this back.

2)REDS: The Red Legs sent down Jared Burton and he's pissed. I think he has the right to be. He hasn't pitched great but he's been doing his job here for 2 years. They brought up Drew Sutton? Who is Drew Sutton? Apparently we got him in the Jeff Keppinger trade...all I know is he's not Mark DeRosa. Johnny Cueto better be a freakin ALL STAR. This team needs an everyday 3B and CF. Do we have those guys on this team? If not, Walt please make a trade.

3)So UC signed a big time recruit for first time since DeMar Johnson. Lance Stephenson sounds like trouble to me. UK didn't want him, Kansas didn't want him, but Cincinnati does. He'll fit in well in this town. Just like Art Long, Dontonio Wingfeild, Cory "rollingme" Blount, Ruben Patterson, and the rest of the thugs UC has had in the past. With that said. This is a great fit for Mick and UC. They needed a scorer and got one. This team has Sweet 16 potential now and with a depleted Big East they should finish in the top half of the conference.

4)Has anyone been watching Wimbledon. I know its Tennis, but it been pretty entertaining. I usually watch a match or two but tomorrows Andy Roddick vs Andy Murray semifinal is going to be electric. If you don't know the Andy Murray story you should check it out on ESPN. I'm rooting for the American Andy but I like both these guys.

5)NBA Free Agency has started. The Pistons wasted $90+ million yesterday on a ballhog shooting guard and a underrated center.

Best Craiglist Posting Ever

Saw this posted on Nick Brunkers Blog this morning. Just read this SHIT!

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in downtown Savannah the night before last.Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM ESTI was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van GoGo's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number). I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.. AlexP.S. Remember this motto..... an armed society is a polite society!
*************************************************************************************

*For those who are wondering, Dennis Neagle is in Vegas this weekend that partially the reason why bloggin has been slow. I recieved a text at 3:45am on Thursday that said "I can't find the Montecito" For those that don't follow, you should get hooked on the hit series Las Vegas now airing reruns on TNT. Or just buy all the seasons on DVD because every episode is can't miss entertainment. Hot chicks everywhere! From Delinda Deline to Sam Marquez this show has the hottest cast ever established. Danny "THE MAN" McCoy just straight laying wood and fighting Casino crime. So while Denny is out in Vegas chillin with the empolyees of hte Montecito, I'm chilling at home watching sports and movies this weeekend. God Im a loser!
*US OPEN: Pretty impressive day by on Friday by Mike Weir. Did that leaderboared really just say David Duval? Is this a rerun from few years back while it must be still raining in NY. I love the US OPEN. Nothing says Golf like watching these guys struggle like I would. How bad is Chris Berman? Bad enough on NFL but Golf is even worse.
REDS: Reds can't hit a lick. We've established that, but now they need to do something about it before it cost us the entire season. Get Drew Stubbs up here, let him give CF a shot. We sure as hell know Willy Taveres isn't the full-time answer. Votto is working out in Sarasota right now. Hopefully getting his shit together. Dennis Neagle said he saw him in the airport on Wednesday and no lie Joey was dressed very queer Neagle relayed to me. We got to get a regurlar everyday 3B in here. And what is going to happen if Ryan Hannigan gets hurt?
*UK: Now that Meeks is gone...who plays SG for the CATS. The guards on this team John Wall, Eric Beldsoe, DeAndre Liggins, Darnell Dodson (hopefully the answer), Jon Hood and maybe Darius Miller.
*I freakin love Megan Fox. Watch this video, this broad can straight bring it.
*Nick Brunker is idiot that is on 1530Homer sometimes. I really can't stand him, but I give him props. This kid straight brings it on his blog everday with the hottest damn chicks I've ever seen. Here is his gallery!
*As for the 1 Night Stand Contest. Look for it to get started again next week for the final round. I think we have decided to award Lisa Guererro the winner last week in the tiebreak, just because there are more hot pics of her on the Web than Erin Andrews. Don't get me wrong though, this site loves us some Erin Andrews. If you got dirty pics of her, send em to us.

What's the deal with Joey Votto?

Has Joey Votto’s inner ear infection become an inner rear infection?

Rumor has it that there is a new “Queen” in the Queen City. There is much speculation about why Reds slugger Joey Votto is still out of the lineup. Some say that he has a social anxiety disorder; some say his ear infection is still not cured, and some say that he is GAY. What ever the problem may be…it must be fixed soon. The Reds were victorious last night against the Braves after 2 rain delays. But can they get back on the good foot after being swept by the Royals???

The Reds definitely need to get Joey back in the lineup even if he is a “Switch Hitter.”
How come there is no “NEW” news about the Votto epidemic? I haven’t heard any thing official about this situation in weeks. I for one know that there are tons of Reds fans out there wondering what the hell the problem is. Could someone please shed some light on this situation?

If Joey is gay it may help with his slugging…. after all he is good with wood in his hand.
Word on the street is that he was seen “rounding second base” with Jay Bruce.
If Joey is gay, do you think that he will change his position to “Pitcher” or “Catcher?”

ONE TIE, ALL TIE?????

We are stuck debating what to do with tie we have had in the 3rd "1 Night Stand" Poll? Any ideas on what we can do to decide the tiebreaker?

*Did you guys watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Just like the NBA and MLB....NHL Hockey has one major thing that bugs me. Too long of a regular season. I could never follow the entire season but I can watch some of the playoffs, and definetly watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup. The final 6minutes were as exciting as any major sports final. Good to see the young guns Malkin and Crosby get a title and turn the page of the Wings domination. Those two are the future Jordan and Pippen of the NHL.

*REDS: So Joey Votto is apparenlty missing time because he's gay. Thats the rumor and if thats the case, we need to cut him. I'd rather lose than have a queer playing first base. The Reds apparently did know something we didn't when they drafted Yonder Alonso last year. If he's not gay and is just a whimp I agree with what STAN said on Mo Egger's Blog today..."When is our first baseman going to remove his tampon and help this team?" Nice way to put it STAN! Another thing is Walt Jockety needs to do something, ANYTHING! I don't care if its just getting Sammy Sosa or Barry Bonds or Pete Rose signed to a contract. This team can't hit a lick. They need, not just one more bat but probably 3. Now they got 3 vs the Braves and 3 vs the White Sox this week. If they don't go at least 3-3 this week they are done.

*Whats story are you sick of more on ESPN? Plaxico Burress-Brett Farva-Michael Vick

*Are you watching the College World Series? If not you should....it might be the most underrated sporting event of the year. Im going to root for ASU to win it all because of the Reds drafting Michael Leake. They upset UNC yesterday. Now they play #1 Texas on Tuesday at 7pm. Leake will be on the hill.

*So a few weaks ago we reported on Bryce Harper, the 16yr old baseball phenom from Las Vegas who was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and taking over the world. Now the kid is skipping HS and going to get his GED this summer so he can start playing college ball at the College of Southern Nevada. Thats kinda cool, but I just hope he doesn't turn out to be the next Drew Henson.

*US OPEN WEEK: Who you got the field or Tiger? The Open is back at Bethpage Black. Probably the toughest Public Course in America. After my nine on Sunday I'd guess I'd shoot a 172 at Bethpage.

*So now there are rumors of Shaq being traded to the Cavs to play with Lebron. Someone explain how this is going to help Lebron win a title next year? It should make for some great interviews and TV though.

*Jodie Meeks and Derrick Brown are both staying in the NBA draft. I think both are making a mistake. Jodie is missing out on an opportunity to be on a National Championship contender and get a lot more TV face time next year w/ UK. Derrick got much better, but I believe with 1 more year in at XU he would be guarenteeing himself a first round pick.

*WAGER OF THE DAY:(4-10) Arkansas is very underrated in College Baseball. Take them to defeat LSU straight up.

Congratulations to the WestStars!

Congrats to the Cincinnati WestStars coached by our very own blogger Dennis Neagle!

The WestStars won the Great Smokey Mountain Showdown baseball tournament this weekend in Gatlinburg, Tenn.

Worst Umpire Ever

Many of you might not know that I coach a local 13 year old baseball team. Over the weekend we were in Gatlinburg dominating a tournament. We won the whole damn thing thanks to my brilliant coaching and pitching strategy. That's not the point of this though. During our 2nd game on Saturday we had a 97 year old man behind the plate umpiring. He gave me a pin that had an umpire running on it and it said "I get no respect". That's not the point of this either though. The point is that he sucked as an umpire and made the most ridiculous call you will ever hear of. Here it is. My 9 hole hitter comes to the plate, steps in, calls time and steps out but doesn't get the time called. The pitch is thrown while he is out of the box and the umpire calls 2, yes 2, strikes. 2 strikes, 1 pitch. I go insane much like Sweet Lou would. He says there was one strike for the pitch and another for a delay of game for stepping out. He could not be more wrong, he could try, but he would be unsuccessful. All that should happen is that there is a strike for the pitch because he was not granted time. Fine, strike one. He insists that its in the rulebook and I insisted that he was an old turd. The call stands and the kid strikes out. Luckily, my great coaching overcame this horrible call and we still won the game and the whole damn tournament. I'll be in the bigs in no time, trust me.

"CHOO CHOO"

I'm in gatlinburg, no one is blogging, I'm pissed

Reds vs Nationals Rain Delay

Ok so if you didn't watch last nights game you missed it. The Reds had a 2-0 lead with a runner on first in the bottom of the 9th and then the rain came. Everyone in the ball park, at home watching on TV pretty much thought this game was over. When the game came back on more than 2hours later the Nats did the improbably and tied the game 2-2.

It was obvious that the crowd had dwindled some. From the normal 2,000 the Nats have in attendance to about 25 people left in the stadium. But of the 25 there were some stunning cunts right behind first base that the camera man made sure we got a good look at every chance he could. The girl in the white had some huge knockers and just couldn't keep that top up. She was pulling on it ever time they showed her. Below is the text conversation between Big Donkey and Dennis Neagle thoughout the midnight hour.

BIG DONKEY: (11:55pm) What the fuck happened? Extra innings Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!

DENNIS NEAGLE: (11:56pm) Fuckin Cordero blows....hot chick in white tube top behind first base dugout though

BIG DONKEY: (11:57pm) There is five people still there

DENNIS NEAGLE: (11:59pm) She's one of them and shes got some bombs

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:06am) Did you see the chick?

BIG DONKEY: (12:07) Yeah! The other one is hot as hell too. If we leave now we can make it by the start of the 15th inning.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:09)Im in u gotta pick me up though

BIG DONKEY: (12:14) If this was a home game I'd definetly go down

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:15) Just to see her titties bouncin? Me too

BIG DONKEY: (12:17am) The girl in the pink is smokin hot too. There is like four hot bitches.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:18am) Lets go to a Nats game sometime

runner on first 1 out BIG DONKEY: (12:20) How bout a fucking hit and run Dusty!

1st n 3rd, no outs Red run themselves into a double play and get no runs

BIG DONKEY: (12:41) I'll tell you what, I was a better baserunner when I was 7 than these guys.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:42) Wasn't watching what happened

BIG DONKEY: (12:44) Bruce didn't run home on grounder and rundown at 2nd base, must have been looking at the girl in the whites titties.

BIG DONKEY: (12.51) They are so fucking lucky, I'm out!

Melissa Theuriau Profile

Who is Melissa Theuriau? Im not really sure who the hell she is. She pretty much the underdog of the entire tournament. She's a French news reporter and was dubbed Maxims Hottest News Anchor. She looks hot, but we dont' have much to work with. There are some nudies on the web but we can't post those here. I think the problem here is this bitch is French. What needs to be done is get her ass to America and get her on a show like Summer Sanders had or put her on E! or something. Maybe she could replace that dumb brunette co-host on Dancing With The Stars.

Best Azzet? Its hard to tell because we don't have a lot of pics to work with. From what I can tell I'm going with her face. I mean this woman is gorgeous. Straight up gorgeous. But you know what? In this poll that won't get you jack shit.

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*Miss California, Carrie Prejean was fired by her boss Donald Trump this week. She's been running around talking about how she hates gays and crap if you don't know who she is. The Donald was stated as saying she hadn't lived up to her Miss California duties and thats why "YOUR FIRED". What exactly does that mean Don? She hadn't blown you yet? She hadn't made an appearance on the Apprentice? Or was it because not enough topless pictures had been found from her teenage years yet (you can find those by searchering her images on GOOGLE). This girl could have went down as possibly the greatest pageant girl of our time if she would just have either posed for Penthouse or had a sextape with a USC quarterback.

*REDS: Cueto has been special this year. I thought last year when I saw this kid for the first time that he was going to have a better career than Edinson Volquez or Homer Bailey. Not that I know anything about pitching at all, but I love the way this guy competes. He's 6-3 so far this season but that record doesn't do him justice. He's got a 2.33era and if he keeps it up should be an ALL-STAR. Speaking of ALL-STARS, which Reds really do deserve to make the trip to St. Louis for the mid summer classic. I'd say no doubt with the way Cordero has pitched he is the first choice. Then I'd go with Brandon Phillips, and Johnny Cueto. If Votto had been healthy he'd be a no brainer. In the end the Redlegs will probably only send 2 guys though.

*Good win last night, not impressive but a good win on the road. But you can't leave 14 men on base. It will bite you in the ass eventually. Oh wait, it already has.

*The Reds took RHP Mike Leake from Arizona St in the first round yesterday of the MLB Draft. I like the pick. I think outside of the #1 pick, S.Strausburg, ASU's Leake is college baseballs next best pitcher. To have a 16-1 record this year in the PAC-10 is impressive. His career record is 40-6, he's started 45 games in his career, and he's got a career ERA of 2.81. I like going the college route after getting burnt by guys like Homer Bailey, Jeremy Sowers and Chris Gruler.

*For those that dont' know, Im a big USC TROJAN fan. Mostly my love comes from the football dominance since Carson Palmers senior year, my hatred towards the Green Irish, and especially because of the Song Girls. I was never a Tim Floyd fan though. I never liked him at Iowa St, I hated him with Bulls, and I knew something was funny when I saw him sitting courtside a few years ago at US Bank Arena watching OJ Mayo and Billy Walker vs. Ty Lawson and Oak Hill. Now I hate him more. If he just would have taken that damn Arizona job, Sean Miller would be taking the Xmen to the Elite 8 again and possibly the Final 4 next year.

*Rumors are flyin' that Matt Pilgrim and Kevin Galloway will not be back at UK next year. That will open up 2 more scholarships for the CATS.

*The Knicks are looking at drafting Steph Curry for an odd reason. Not because of his talents, but because he's become a close friend to Lebron James????Hmmm? Not a bad tactic I guess, if your desperate, and the Knicks are very desperate.

*So the Penguins push a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals. Back to Hockeytown though. I predict that Pitts will win in Detroit on Friday. NHL game 7's on HD are sweet!

*WAGER OF THE Day (4-9): Reds vs Nationals. Over/Under is 9runs. I'll take the over.

What's the Deal with Daytime TV?

Is it just me or is there absolutely nothing on tv during the day? No, it's not just me, can't be. You can either watch Sportscenter 11 times or watch soaps. Either way, I'd rather stick pencils in my eyeballs. How about putting some re-runs of some sweet old shows on like Perfect Strangers, Fresh Prince, or hell I'd even watch the Smurfs. I'd kill to see cousin Larry and Balki back on the boob tube disturbing the peace. I've been working from home for over a week now and each and everyday I want to slit my throat. There's only so much pornhub.com a man can take. I'm bored out of my damn skull. I'm thinking about starting my own channel of all sweet shows all the time. Does anyone know how to do that? Ah, screw it, I'll just keep complaining, it's a lot easier that way.

"CHOO CHOO"

Lisa Guerrero Profile

Who is Lisa Guerrero you ask? She first graced us with her presence on Best Damn Sports Show Period. But really she began her career as a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader. Now married to former MLB pitcher Scott Erickson she hasn't been seen often since she starred and covered Playboy magazine.
Best Azzet? No doubt its that great rack. Besides that who doesn't love to see a smokin' hot latino senorita naked??? For the nudies you'll have to look them up yourself.

Let's Fold the Washington Nationals!

Anyone else up for starting a campaign to fold this horrible, horrible franchise?

I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of this idea, but follow me for a minute:

1. They have decent players, but a horrible team: If we took the Nationals current roster and all of their minor leagues and included them in the draft it's not like everyone would be passed up. Ryan Zimmerman would look great at 3B for the Reds for the next 10 years (side note I struck his ass out in an AAU game when I was 15 or 16). The Big Donkey has put up solid numbers this year, Nick Johnson is the subject of trade rumors, and a few other players would certainly find big league jobs.

2. Leatherpants scandal: If you trust someone that wears leather pants and rides around in a customized scooter to basically build your franchise from the ground up you know you suck. It's like watching the youtube video of the fat kid falling out of the roller coaster... Hello Kid you're fat and shouldn't be doing this in the first place; you have to expect people to laugh at you.

3. Stephen Strasburg: Hypothetically if there was no Washington Nationals then the Mariners would've picked this guy #1 overall. Is it not a better world to think of this guy and Felix Hernandez leading the Mariners? Seriously this kid looks like the "next big thing" but my money is on him to flame out with the Nationals. He'll win a few games next year, hurt his arm before the season is over and the Nationals will again struggle to win 50 games.

I've never been a fan of Bud Selig, but if he announced today that he was folding this team at the end of the year I'd forgive him for screwing up everything he's done so far.

Jillian Barberie Profile

Who is Jillian Barberie you ask? Primarily she works on Fox Sports as the NFL pregame weather girl, but Barberie great looks have landed her with some acting jobs. She's appeared on "Melrose Place", "Yes, Dear", the big reality hit "Skating with the Stars", and most recently you can see her on commercials with Mike Golic and Dan Marino selling NutriSystem. Gillian really isn't that famous but just smoking hot. She still goes by Barberie, which is the name she took after wedding former MLB player Brent Barberie.
Best Azzet? She has a rock hard body. Overall she's smoking hot but I give the award to the abs. Look at her stomach. Is there any doubt she loves letting smuchs like us recieve body shots off that masterpeice?

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*REDS:Yesterday was the 2nd game this year thats really pissed me off. Both have been the marathon games, first vs San Diego then vs the Cubs. Yester was worse because we actually had a great opportunity to gain ground. Mike Lincoln is awful. I was happy they resigned him but why do you sign him to a 2yr contract. Was the market for Lincoln really that big? Also, how bout somebody step up and get a big hit yesterday. I think we had guys in scoring position 5times after the 8th. If nothing is working at all at the plate, then maybe Dusty should get a little risky and try a squeez play or something different. No was going to hit a walk off home run yesterday. Dennis Neagle and I were talking the other day. Anyone for trading for Alex Rios of the Blue Jays? He's off to a bad start but possibly a good cleanup hitter with power.

*Nothing I hate more than hearing and seeing all those Cubs fans at our ball park. But what can I do besides get my ass to more games.

*MLB Draft is Tuesday at 6pm. Look for the Reds to take one of these four LHP prospects.

Tyler Matzek a HS pitcher from CA, Matt Purke a HS pitcher from TX, James Paxton from Kentucky, or Mike Mimor from Vandy.

*How bout Tiger Woods yall! That shot he had on the 18th yesterday was unreal. I think he might be back. US OPEN week next week. Who do you got? Tiger or the Field?

*NBA FINALS: Just got even less interesting if thats possible. Sounds like Stan Van Gundy is blaming Courtney Lee from the interview I heard on ESPN this morning for missing that shot. I mean the guy did only 0.6sec left and the pass wasn't that great and he was under the backboard when he tried to lay it in. "Master of Panic" needs to take the blame for not stopping Paul Gasol and Lamar Odem.

*Nice article about Luke Maile of CovCath who should get drafted tommorrow and the MLB draft process.

*Wager of the Day: I'm subbing in Dennis Neagles golf league tonight. Last week I beat him by 1 stroke. It was quite lucky if you ask me. I think for a normal match on 9 holes I probably should be getting 2 strokes. I'll say beat him again tonight straight up.

Erin Andrews Profile

So who is Erin Andrews you ask? Well, Erin attended the University of Florida and was a member of the Gators basketball dance team. She then received her degree in communications(same as me by the way) and began doing some reporting for the Tampa Bay Lightning and then working for TBS and all the Atlanta teams. She currently works for ESPN and sluts herself around on tv for all of us to drool over. I think she's been rumored to be boinking everyone she interviews.

Best Azzet? For me, it's probably everytime she holds that microphone close to her mouth. For others, it might be her smokin' hot body and irressitable interviewing skills. Either way she excites me.




"CHOO CHOO"

VOTE IN THE POLL

Today we start round 3 of the "1 Night Stand" poll. Riverfront Sports has decided to have 4 rounds of the "1 Night Stand" poll. The first round was won by Julianne Hough, the second round last week was won by Kim Kardashian's azz.

Each day we will feature a profile and picture of 1 member of the current poll, just incase you readers don't know who the lovely ladies are. After the 4 rounds we will have 1 wildcard particpant and and then a final vote.

The final vote between the 4 champions and the wildcard winner will determine who is the First Lady of Riverfront Sports 2009.

Here are this weeks contestants:

Erin Andrews

Jillian Barberie

Lisa Guerrero

Melissa Theuriau

Ines Sainz

You get to have a "1 Night Stand" with........Kim Kardashian

The winner of the second "1 Night Stand" poll was Kim Kardashian. Kim recieves a automatic bid into the "Queen of Riverfront Sports" Poll which will take place at the end of the year. Congrats to KK!

Later today we will anounce the 3rd round contestants of the "1 Night Stand" poll. For the first time we will be settling into a subject. Hot Sportscasters!!1

Am I a Human Magic 8 Ball?

Does anyone remember the statline I predicted for Matt Maloney's debut? Well, here is it and here are his actual numbers:

My prediction: -- 7 IP-- 2 ER-- 4 K's-- 1 BB

Actual numbers: -- 6 IP-- 2 ER-- 4 K's-- 1 BB

Pretty damn good aren't I? I also predicted that he would have a basehit and guess what, the bastard came through for me with a single up the middle. He should have stayed in there for that extra inning too so that's not my fault. There's only one feasible explanation for this: my brain was replaced with a magic 8 ball when I was a small child. How else could I predict things this closely. Here's my next prediction: I'm awesome....Boom, nailed it again. I'll be predicting lottery numbers later in the week so keep reading the damn blog.

"CHOO CHOO"

Where Have You Gone Tom Emanski???

It wasn't very long ago that you couldn't watch a single baseball game on TV without seeing a commercial for "Tom Emanski Teaches Defensive Drills" being endorsed by everyones favorite ball player the Crime Dog Fred McGriff.

Upon doing further research I've come to a few ideas about what happened to our beloved hero:

1. Those kids that you see throwing the baseball into the garbage can finally decided to cut Emanski up and throw him into one. I've still got a good arm and maybe not from CF, but definitely from 2B I could throw a ball into the can, but what for???? Sure it might build arm strength, and kinda cool to say "I threw a baseball into a trash can from 300 feet away for a baseball video" but are are of these kids in the bigs???? Hell no they aren't cause that serves no purpose in the game. After not one of the kids were drafted they all revolted, cut him into pieces, and stood at the pitchers mound tossing body parts into a trash can.

2. Getting tired of being referred to as "Baseball Superstar Fred McGriff" by Mr. Emanksi; Fred decided to show him what the Crime Dog is all about. Rumor has it that Mr. McGriff is also wanted in the slaying of blog favorite, Keith Sweat, they found his head, but....

3. According to Wikipeida, our favorite baseball instructor, as of 2003 at least, is being sought by the IRS for unpaid taxes. I can see Emanski living in a wooded shack, Unibomber style, using his quick double play turning hands and feet to move from tree to tree escaping whatever federal agents are after him. If Will Ferrell can take on Bear Grils I'd like to see Tom Emanski try.

4. Due to the unpaid taxes Emanski cut a deal with Homeland Security; he's teaming with Chuck Norris to find Osama Bin Ladin's hid out and afterwards they're going to film the worlds greatest Mt. Dew commercial ever- my money's on this one.

Maloney Gets His Shot

Finally, Matt Maloney gets the call up and starts on Saturday for the Redlegs. I'm almost positive that he's gonna dominate and probably have a stat line something like this: 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 K's, 1 walk and gets his first career win. He might even get a bloop single down the left field line for an RBI. Then, he will probably go back down to Louisville and Homer Bailey will come up for no reason and walk 9 straight guys. Just seems like something the Reds might do. Anywho, I hope Maloney dominates because I'd love to see a lefty in the rotation. Move Owings to the bullpen for long relief and say goodbye to Michael Lincoln. He threw well the other day but I don't think he can do it consistently. Plus, he looks too much like Nick Lachey to be successful. Good luck Matthew Maloney.

"CHOO CHOO"

Stacy Keibler Profile

Who is Stacy Keibler? She started out as Baltimore Ravens cheerleader then moved on to professional wrestling. She started as a WCW Nitro Girl. Man all those bitches were hot!! After moving to WWE she became super famous on the hit show Dancing With the Stars. The show allowed her show off her athleticism, hotness, and unreal legs. Bruno, one of the judges nicknamed her "The Weapon of Mass Seduction". Now thats one hot nickname.

Best Azzset? No doubt its the legs. She's well known for her forty-two inch stems. But lets give the girl some credit. She has a nice rack and one of the best asses I've ever seen. Vote for Stacy if you would like in the poll above.