*For those who are wondering, Dennis Neagle is in Vegas this weekend that partially the reason why bloggin has been slow. I recieved a text at 3:45am on Thursday that said "I can't find the Montecito" For those that don't follow, you should get hooked on the hit series Las Vegas now airing reruns on TNT. Or just buy all the seasons on DVD because every episode is can't miss entertainment. Hot chicks everywhere! From Delinda Deline to Sam Marquez this show has the hottest cast ever established. Danny "THE MAN" McCoy just straight laying wood and fighting Casino crime. So while Denny is out in Vegas chillin with the empolyees of hte Montecito, I'm chilling at home watching sports and movies this weeekend. God Im a loser!
*US OPEN: Pretty impressive day by on Friday by Mike Weir. Did that leaderboared really just say David Duval? Is this a rerun from few years back while it must be still raining in NY. I love the US OPEN. Nothing says Golf like watching these guys struggle like I would. How bad is Chris Berman? Bad enough on NFL but Golf is even worse.
REDS: Reds can't hit a lick. We've established that, but now they need to do something about it before it cost us the entire season. Get Drew Stubbs up here, let him give CF a shot. We sure as hell know Willy Taveres isn't the full-time answer. Votto is working out in Sarasota right now. Hopefully getting his shit together. Dennis Neagle said he saw him in the airport on Wednesday and no lie Joey was dressed very queer Neagle relayed to me. We got to get a regurlar everyday 3B in here. And what is going to happen if Ryan Hannigan gets hurt?
*UK: Now that Meeks is gone...who plays SG for the CATS. The guards on this team John Wall, Eric Beldsoe, DeAndre Liggins, Darnell Dodson (hopefully the answer), Jon Hood and maybe Darius Miller.
*I freakin love Megan Fox. Watch this video, this broad can straight bring it.
*Nick Brunker is idiot that is on 1530Homer sometimes. I really can't stand him, but I give him props. This kid straight brings it on his blog everday with the hottest damn chicks I've ever seen. Here is his gallery!
*As for the 1 Night Stand Contest. Look for it to get started again next week for the final round. I think we have decided to award Lisa Guererro the winner last week in the tiebreak, just because there are more hot pics of her on the Web than Erin Andrews. Don't get me wrong though, this site loves us some Erin Andrews. If you got dirty pics of her, send em to us.

What's the deal with Joey Votto?

Has Joey Votto’s inner ear infection become an inner rear infection?

Rumor has it that there is a new “Queen” in the Queen City. There is much speculation about why Reds slugger Joey Votto is still out of the lineup. Some say that he has a social anxiety disorder; some say his ear infection is still not cured, and some say that he is GAY. What ever the problem may be…it must be fixed soon. The Reds were victorious last night against the Braves after 2 rain delays. But can they get back on the good foot after being swept by the Royals???

The Reds definitely need to get Joey back in the lineup even if he is a “Switch Hitter.”
How come there is no “NEW” news about the Votto epidemic? I haven’t heard any thing official about this situation in weeks. I for one know that there are tons of Reds fans out there wondering what the hell the problem is. Could someone please shed some light on this situation?

If Joey is gay it may help with his slugging…. after all he is good with wood in his hand.
Word on the street is that he was seen “rounding second base” with Jay Bruce.
If Joey is gay, do you think that he will change his position to “Pitcher” or “Catcher?”

ONE TIE, ALL TIE?????

We are stuck debating what to do with tie we have had in the 3rd "1 Night Stand" Poll? Any ideas on what we can do to decide the tiebreaker?

*Did you guys watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Just like the NBA and MLB....NHL Hockey has one major thing that bugs me. Too long of a regular season. I could never follow the entire season but I can watch some of the playoffs, and definetly watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup. The final 6minutes were as exciting as any major sports final. Good to see the young guns Malkin and Crosby get a title and turn the page of the Wings domination. Those two are the future Jordan and Pippen of the NHL.

*REDS: So Joey Votto is apparenlty missing time because he's gay. Thats the rumor and if thats the case, we need to cut him. I'd rather lose than have a queer playing first base. The Reds apparently did know something we didn't when they drafted Yonder Alonso last year. If he's not gay and is just a whimp I agree with what STAN said on Mo Egger's Blog today..."When is our first baseman going to remove his tampon and help this team?" Nice way to put it STAN! Another thing is Walt Jockety needs to do something, ANYTHING! I don't care if its just getting Sammy Sosa or Barry Bonds or Pete Rose signed to a contract. This team can't hit a lick. They need, not just one more bat but probably 3. Now they got 3 vs the Braves and 3 vs the White Sox this week. If they don't go at least 3-3 this week they are done.

*Whats story are you sick of more on ESPN? Plaxico Burress-Brett Farva-Michael Vick

*Are you watching the College World Series? If not you should....it might be the most underrated sporting event of the year. Im going to root for ASU to win it all because of the Reds drafting Michael Leake. They upset UNC yesterday. Now they play #1 Texas on Tuesday at 7pm. Leake will be on the hill.

*So a few weaks ago we reported on Bryce Harper, the 16yr old baseball phenom from Las Vegas who was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and taking over the world. Now the kid is skipping HS and going to get his GED this summer so he can start playing college ball at the College of Southern Nevada. Thats kinda cool, but I just hope he doesn't turn out to be the next Drew Henson.

*US OPEN WEEK: Who you got the field or Tiger? The Open is back at Bethpage Black. Probably the toughest Public Course in America. After my nine on Sunday I'd guess I'd shoot a 172 at Bethpage.

*So now there are rumors of Shaq being traded to the Cavs to play with Lebron. Someone explain how this is going to help Lebron win a title next year? It should make for some great interviews and TV though.

*Jodie Meeks and Derrick Brown are both staying in the NBA draft. I think both are making a mistake. Jodie is missing out on an opportunity to be on a National Championship contender and get a lot more TV face time next year w/ UK. Derrick got much better, but I believe with 1 more year in at XU he would be guarenteeing himself a first round pick.

*WAGER OF THE DAY:(4-10) Arkansas is very underrated in College Baseball. Take them to defeat LSU straight up.

Congratulations to the WestStars!

Congrats to the Cincinnati WestStars coached by our very own blogger Dennis Neagle!

The WestStars won the Great Smokey Mountain Showdown baseball tournament this weekend in Gatlinburg, Tenn.

Worst Umpire Ever

Many of you might not know that I coach a local 13 year old baseball team. Over the weekend we were in Gatlinburg dominating a tournament. We won the whole damn thing thanks to my brilliant coaching and pitching strategy. That's not the point of this though. During our 2nd game on Saturday we had a 97 year old man behind the plate umpiring. He gave me a pin that had an umpire running on it and it said "I get no respect". That's not the point of this either though. The point is that he sucked as an umpire and made the most ridiculous call you will ever hear of. Here it is. My 9 hole hitter comes to the plate, steps in, calls time and steps out but doesn't get the time called. The pitch is thrown while he is out of the box and the umpire calls 2, yes 2, strikes. 2 strikes, 1 pitch. I go insane much like Sweet Lou would. He says there was one strike for the pitch and another for a delay of game for stepping out. He could not be more wrong, he could try, but he would be unsuccessful. All that should happen is that there is a strike for the pitch because he was not granted time. Fine, strike one. He insists that its in the rulebook and I insisted that he was an old turd. The call stands and the kid strikes out. Luckily, my great coaching overcame this horrible call and we still won the game and the whole damn tournament. I'll be in the bigs in no time, trust me.

"CHOO CHOO"

I'm in gatlinburg, no one is blogging, I'm pissed

Reds vs Nationals Rain Delay

Ok so if you didn't watch last nights game you missed it. The Reds had a 2-0 lead with a runner on first in the bottom of the 9th and then the rain came. Everyone in the ball park, at home watching on TV pretty much thought this game was over. When the game came back on more than 2hours later the Nats did the improbably and tied the game 2-2.

It was obvious that the crowd had dwindled some. From the normal 2,000 the Nats have in attendance to about 25 people left in the stadium. But of the 25 there were some stunning cunts right behind first base that the camera man made sure we got a good look at every chance he could. The girl in the white had some huge knockers and just couldn't keep that top up. She was pulling on it ever time they showed her. Below is the text conversation between Big Donkey and Dennis Neagle thoughout the midnight hour.

BIG DONKEY: (11:55pm) What the fuck happened? Extra innings Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!

DENNIS NEAGLE: (11:56pm) Fuckin Cordero blows....hot chick in white tube top behind first base dugout though

BIG DONKEY: (11:57pm) There is five people still there

DENNIS NEAGLE: (11:59pm) She's one of them and shes got some bombs

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:06am) Did you see the chick?

BIG DONKEY: (12:07) Yeah! The other one is hot as hell too. If we leave now we can make it by the start of the 15th inning.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:09)Im in u gotta pick me up though

BIG DONKEY: (12:14) If this was a home game I'd definetly go down

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:15) Just to see her titties bouncin? Me too

BIG DONKEY: (12:17am) The girl in the pink is smokin hot too. There is like four hot bitches.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:18am) Lets go to a Nats game sometime

runner on first 1 out BIG DONKEY: (12:20) How bout a fucking hit and run Dusty!

1st n 3rd, no outs Red run themselves into a double play and get no runs

BIG DONKEY: (12:41) I'll tell you what, I was a better baserunner when I was 7 than these guys.

DENNIS NEAGLE: (12:42) Wasn't watching what happened

BIG DONKEY: (12:44) Bruce didn't run home on grounder and rundown at 2nd base, must have been looking at the girl in the whites titties.

BIG DONKEY: (12.51) They are so fucking lucky, I'm out!

Melissa Theuriau Profile

Who is Melissa Theuriau? Im not really sure who the hell she is. She pretty much the underdog of the entire tournament. She's a French news reporter and was dubbed Maxims Hottest News Anchor. She looks hot, but we dont' have much to work with. There are some nudies on the web but we can't post those here. I think the problem here is this bitch is French. What needs to be done is get her ass to America and get her on a show like Summer Sanders had or put her on E! or something. Maybe she could replace that dumb brunette co-host on Dancing With The Stars.

Best Azzet? Its hard to tell because we don't have a lot of pics to work with. From what I can tell I'm going with her face. I mean this woman is gorgeous. Straight up gorgeous. But you know what? In this poll that won't get you jack shit.

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*Miss California, Carrie Prejean was fired by her boss Donald Trump this week. She's been running around talking about how she hates gays and crap if you don't know who she is. The Donald was stated as saying she hadn't lived up to her Miss California duties and thats why "YOUR FIRED". What exactly does that mean Don? She hadn't blown you yet? She hadn't made an appearance on the Apprentice? Or was it because not enough topless pictures had been found from her teenage years yet (you can find those by searchering her images on GOOGLE). This girl could have went down as possibly the greatest pageant girl of our time if she would just have either posed for Penthouse or had a sextape with a USC quarterback.

*REDS: Cueto has been special this year. I thought last year when I saw this kid for the first time that he was going to have a better career than Edinson Volquez or Homer Bailey. Not that I know anything about pitching at all, but I love the way this guy competes. He's 6-3 so far this season but that record doesn't do him justice. He's got a 2.33era and if he keeps it up should be an ALL-STAR. Speaking of ALL-STARS, which Reds really do deserve to make the trip to St. Louis for the mid summer classic. I'd say no doubt with the way Cordero has pitched he is the first choice. Then I'd go with Brandon Phillips, and Johnny Cueto. If Votto had been healthy he'd be a no brainer. In the end the Redlegs will probably only send 2 guys though.

*Good win last night, not impressive but a good win on the road. But you can't leave 14 men on base. It will bite you in the ass eventually. Oh wait, it already has.

*The Reds took RHP Mike Leake from Arizona St in the first round yesterday of the MLB Draft. I like the pick. I think outside of the #1 pick, S.Strausburg, ASU's Leake is college baseballs next best pitcher. To have a 16-1 record this year in the PAC-10 is impressive. His career record is 40-6, he's started 45 games in his career, and he's got a career ERA of 2.81. I like going the college route after getting burnt by guys like Homer Bailey, Jeremy Sowers and Chris Gruler.

*For those that dont' know, Im a big USC TROJAN fan. Mostly my love comes from the football dominance since Carson Palmers senior year, my hatred towards the Green Irish, and especially because of the Song Girls. I was never a Tim Floyd fan though. I never liked him at Iowa St, I hated him with Bulls, and I knew something was funny when I saw him sitting courtside a few years ago at US Bank Arena watching OJ Mayo and Billy Walker vs. Ty Lawson and Oak Hill. Now I hate him more. If he just would have taken that damn Arizona job, Sean Miller would be taking the Xmen to the Elite 8 again and possibly the Final 4 next year.

*Rumors are flyin' that Matt Pilgrim and Kevin Galloway will not be back at UK next year. That will open up 2 more scholarships for the CATS.

*The Knicks are looking at drafting Steph Curry for an odd reason. Not because of his talents, but because he's become a close friend to Lebron James????Hmmm? Not a bad tactic I guess, if your desperate, and the Knicks are very desperate.

*So the Penguins push a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals. Back to Hockeytown though. I predict that Pitts will win in Detroit on Friday. NHL game 7's on HD are sweet!

*WAGER OF THE Day (4-9): Reds vs Nationals. Over/Under is 9runs. I'll take the over.

What's the Deal with Daytime TV?

Is it just me or is there absolutely nothing on tv during the day? No, it's not just me, can't be. You can either watch Sportscenter 11 times or watch soaps. Either way, I'd rather stick pencils in my eyeballs. How about putting some re-runs of some sweet old shows on like Perfect Strangers, Fresh Prince, or hell I'd even watch the Smurfs. I'd kill to see cousin Larry and Balki back on the boob tube disturbing the peace. I've been working from home for over a week now and each and everyday I want to slit my throat. There's only so much pornhub.com a man can take. I'm bored out of my damn skull. I'm thinking about starting my own channel of all sweet shows all the time. Does anyone know how to do that? Ah, screw it, I'll just keep complaining, it's a lot easier that way.

"CHOO CHOO"

Lisa Guerrero Profile

Who is Lisa Guerrero you ask? She first graced us with her presence on Best Damn Sports Show Period. But really she began her career as a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader. Now married to former MLB pitcher Scott Erickson she hasn't been seen often since she starred and covered Playboy magazine.
Best Azzet? No doubt its that great rack. Besides that who doesn't love to see a smokin' hot latino senorita naked??? For the nudies you'll have to look them up yourself.

Let's Fold the Washington Nationals!

Anyone else up for starting a campaign to fold this horrible, horrible franchise?

I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of this idea, but follow me for a minute:

1. They have decent players, but a horrible team: If we took the Nationals current roster and all of their minor leagues and included them in the draft it's not like everyone would be passed up. Ryan Zimmerman would look great at 3B for the Reds for the next 10 years (side note I struck his ass out in an AAU game when I was 15 or 16). The Big Donkey has put up solid numbers this year, Nick Johnson is the subject of trade rumors, and a few other players would certainly find big league jobs.

2. Leatherpants scandal: If you trust someone that wears leather pants and rides around in a customized scooter to basically build your franchise from the ground up you know you suck. It's like watching the youtube video of the fat kid falling out of the roller coaster... Hello Kid you're fat and shouldn't be doing this in the first place; you have to expect people to laugh at you.

3. Stephen Strasburg: Hypothetically if there was no Washington Nationals then the Mariners would've picked this guy #1 overall. Is it not a better world to think of this guy and Felix Hernandez leading the Mariners? Seriously this kid looks like the "next big thing" but my money is on him to flame out with the Nationals. He'll win a few games next year, hurt his arm before the season is over and the Nationals will again struggle to win 50 games.

I've never been a fan of Bud Selig, but if he announced today that he was folding this team at the end of the year I'd forgive him for screwing up everything he's done so far.

Jillian Barberie Profile

Who is Jillian Barberie you ask? Primarily she works on Fox Sports as the NFL pregame weather girl, but Barberie great looks have landed her with some acting jobs. She's appeared on "Melrose Place", "Yes, Dear", the big reality hit "Skating with the Stars", and most recently you can see her on commercials with Mike Golic and Dan Marino selling NutriSystem. Gillian really isn't that famous but just smoking hot. She still goes by Barberie, which is the name she took after wedding former MLB player Brent Barberie.
Best Azzet? She has a rock hard body. Overall she's smoking hot but I give the award to the abs. Look at her stomach. Is there any doubt she loves letting smuchs like us recieve body shots off that masterpeice?

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*REDS:Yesterday was the 2nd game this year thats really pissed me off. Both have been the marathon games, first vs San Diego then vs the Cubs. Yester was worse because we actually had a great opportunity to gain ground. Mike Lincoln is awful. I was happy they resigned him but why do you sign him to a 2yr contract. Was the market for Lincoln really that big? Also, how bout somebody step up and get a big hit yesterday. I think we had guys in scoring position 5times after the 8th. If nothing is working at all at the plate, then maybe Dusty should get a little risky and try a squeez play or something different. No was going to hit a walk off home run yesterday. Dennis Neagle and I were talking the other day. Anyone for trading for Alex Rios of the Blue Jays? He's off to a bad start but possibly a good cleanup hitter with power.

*Nothing I hate more than hearing and seeing all those Cubs fans at our ball park. But what can I do besides get my ass to more games.

*MLB Draft is Tuesday at 6pm. Look for the Reds to take one of these four LHP prospects.

Tyler Matzek a HS pitcher from CA, Matt Purke a HS pitcher from TX, James Paxton from Kentucky, or Mike Mimor from Vandy.

*How bout Tiger Woods yall! That shot he had on the 18th yesterday was unreal. I think he might be back. US OPEN week next week. Who do you got? Tiger or the Field?

*NBA FINALS: Just got even less interesting if thats possible. Sounds like Stan Van Gundy is blaming Courtney Lee from the interview I heard on ESPN this morning for missing that shot. I mean the guy did only 0.6sec left and the pass wasn't that great and he was under the backboard when he tried to lay it in. "Master of Panic" needs to take the blame for not stopping Paul Gasol and Lamar Odem.

*Nice article about Luke Maile of CovCath who should get drafted tommorrow and the MLB draft process.

*Wager of the Day: I'm subbing in Dennis Neagles golf league tonight. Last week I beat him by 1 stroke. It was quite lucky if you ask me. I think for a normal match on 9 holes I probably should be getting 2 strokes. I'll say beat him again tonight straight up.

Erin Andrews Profile

So who is Erin Andrews you ask? Well, Erin attended the University of Florida and was a member of the Gators basketball dance team. She then received her degree in communications(same as me by the way) and began doing some reporting for the Tampa Bay Lightning and then working for TBS and all the Atlanta teams. She currently works for ESPN and sluts herself around on tv for all of us to drool over. I think she's been rumored to be boinking everyone she interviews.

Best Azzet? For me, it's probably everytime she holds that microphone close to her mouth. For others, it might be her smokin' hot body and irressitable interviewing skills. Either way she excites me.




"CHOO CHOO"

VOTE IN THE POLL

Today we start round 3 of the "1 Night Stand" poll. Riverfront Sports has decided to have 4 rounds of the "1 Night Stand" poll. The first round was won by Julianne Hough, the second round last week was won by Kim Kardashian's azz.

Each day we will feature a profile and picture of 1 member of the current poll, just incase you readers don't know who the lovely ladies are. After the 4 rounds we will have 1 wildcard particpant and and then a final vote.

The final vote between the 4 champions and the wildcard winner will determine who is the First Lady of Riverfront Sports 2009.

Here are this weeks contestants:

Erin Andrews

Jillian Barberie

Lisa Guerrero

Melissa Theuriau

Ines Sainz

You get to have a "1 Night Stand" with........Kim Kardashian

The winner of the second "1 Night Stand" poll was Kim Kardashian. Kim recieves a automatic bid into the "Queen of Riverfront Sports" Poll which will take place at the end of the year. Congrats to KK!

Later today we will anounce the 3rd round contestants of the "1 Night Stand" poll. For the first time we will be settling into a subject. Hot Sportscasters!!1

Am I a Human Magic 8 Ball?

Does anyone remember the statline I predicted for Matt Maloney's debut? Well, here is it and here are his actual numbers:

My prediction: -- 7 IP-- 2 ER-- 4 K's-- 1 BB

Actual numbers: -- 6 IP-- 2 ER-- 4 K's-- 1 BB

Pretty damn good aren't I? I also predicted that he would have a basehit and guess what, the bastard came through for me with a single up the middle. He should have stayed in there for that extra inning too so that's not my fault. There's only one feasible explanation for this: my brain was replaced with a magic 8 ball when I was a small child. How else could I predict things this closely. Here's my next prediction: I'm awesome....Boom, nailed it again. I'll be predicting lottery numbers later in the week so keep reading the damn blog.

"CHOO CHOO"

Where Have You Gone Tom Emanski???

It wasn't very long ago that you couldn't watch a single baseball game on TV without seeing a commercial for "Tom Emanski Teaches Defensive Drills" being endorsed by everyones favorite ball player the Crime Dog Fred McGriff.

Upon doing further research I've come to a few ideas about what happened to our beloved hero:

1. Those kids that you see throwing the baseball into the garbage can finally decided to cut Emanski up and throw him into one. I've still got a good arm and maybe not from CF, but definitely from 2B I could throw a ball into the can, but what for???? Sure it might build arm strength, and kinda cool to say "I threw a baseball into a trash can from 300 feet away for a baseball video" but are are of these kids in the bigs???? Hell no they aren't cause that serves no purpose in the game. After not one of the kids were drafted they all revolted, cut him into pieces, and stood at the pitchers mound tossing body parts into a trash can.

2. Getting tired of being referred to as "Baseball Superstar Fred McGriff" by Mr. Emanksi; Fred decided to show him what the Crime Dog is all about. Rumor has it that Mr. McGriff is also wanted in the slaying of blog favorite, Keith Sweat, they found his head, but....

3. According to Wikipeida, our favorite baseball instructor, as of 2003 at least, is being sought by the IRS for unpaid taxes. I can see Emanski living in a wooded shack, Unibomber style, using his quick double play turning hands and feet to move from tree to tree escaping whatever federal agents are after him. If Will Ferrell can take on Bear Grils I'd like to see Tom Emanski try.

4. Due to the unpaid taxes Emanski cut a deal with Homeland Security; he's teaming with Chuck Norris to find Osama Bin Ladin's hid out and afterwards they're going to film the worlds greatest Mt. Dew commercial ever- my money's on this one.

Maloney Gets His Shot

Finally, Matt Maloney gets the call up and starts on Saturday for the Redlegs. I'm almost positive that he's gonna dominate and probably have a stat line something like this: 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 K's, 1 walk and gets his first career win. He might even get a bloop single down the left field line for an RBI. Then, he will probably go back down to Louisville and Homer Bailey will come up for no reason and walk 9 straight guys. Just seems like something the Reds might do. Anywho, I hope Maloney dominates because I'd love to see a lefty in the rotation. Move Owings to the bullpen for long relief and say goodbye to Michael Lincoln. He threw well the other day but I don't think he can do it consistently. Plus, he looks too much like Nick Lachey to be successful. Good luck Matthew Maloney.

"CHOO CHOO"

Stacy Keibler Profile

Who is Stacy Keibler? She started out as Baltimore Ravens cheerleader then moved on to professional wrestling. She started as a WCW Nitro Girl. Man all those bitches were hot!! After moving to WWE she became super famous on the hit show Dancing With the Stars. The show allowed her show off her athleticism, hotness, and unreal legs. Bruno, one of the judges nicknamed her "The Weapon of Mass Seduction". Now thats one hot nickname.

Best Azzset? No doubt its the legs. She's well known for her forty-two inch stems. But lets give the girl some credit. She has a nice rack and one of the best asses I've ever seen. Vote for Stacy if you would like in the poll above.

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

REDS:Nice win last night by the Reds. I sure hope Johnny Cueto keeps this up and becomes an All-Star because he deserves it. How bout Laynce Nix? This guy is the cleanup hitter we've been looking for. He's got power to all fields. He's smart, athletic, and becoming our best OF option. Some great defensive plays last night too. Love to see Brandon Phillips going opposite way to get an RBI. He's really maturing and I becoming the best 2nd baseman in baseball. I kinda agree with Lance McAlister today. Should we be looking at Drew Stubbs coming up and Jay Bruce going down??
Can Arron Harang get his shit together tonight? If he can hold the Cards under 3 runs the Reds have to win this game.
*Tom Glavine? I love this idea. Why not give this guy a few starts and see what he can do. A lefty is something we need. We might be looking for 2 starters instead of just one for next week. (Owings and Volquez) I'm sure you can get him at a fair price. If anything he brings a winning veteran to the ballclub.
*Ok, do me a favor and watch just at least the 3rd quarter of the Stanley Cup tonight. If you have VS. that is.
*NBA Finals start tonight. I think the Magic have an interesting team. The best big man in the league paired with a bunch of 3pt shooters. How far can that take you though?
*The Chicago WhiteSox have called up AAA shortstop Gordon Beckham. Gordon dominated the college world series last year with the Georgia Bulldogs. I really really wanted the Reds to draft this guy but they passed on him and took Yonder Alonso. Is Ozzie Guillen rushing this guy though?
*Have you heard of 16yr old sensation Bryce Harper? If not you probably will soon. The next sports prodigy of our generation MIGHT be really good.

WAGER OF THE DAY (4-7): Ok now were warming up. I think we'll go back to the NBA tonight and try to prove something. But I'm not taking a team. The over/under is 205pts. I'll take the over.

Jenn Sterger Profile

Who is Jenn Sterger you ask? Jenn became an internet phenomenon while doing nothing but cheering on her beloved FSU Seminoles against Miami during a telecast. After Brent Musburger saw the girls and how it seemed they were smuggling midgets under there shirts he commented "1,500 red blooded Americans just decided to apply for Florida State." Since then she has posed for both Maxim and Playboy. She was considered one of E! Entertainments top 20 Hottest Women of the Web. Now she works as a sports show co-host for the NY Jets. Look for Jenn Sterger in her first movie "THE TENANT" airing in 2009. What are the chances that the landlord will be played by Lexington Steele.

Best AZZet? No doubt her fake boobs have made her the star she is today. Jenn is proud to tell everyone that she recieved her fake tits as a present from her parents. As you can see, it was the best present we've ever recieved.

(JENN STERGER IS PICTURED ON THE RIGHT IF YOU CARE)

What is with the Fohawk???

Can anyone please tell my what the fuck is up with the Fohawk????

For those of you who may not know what I am talking about:
The faux hawk (fohawk or faux-hawk) continues to dominate cutting-edge urban hairstyling with a vengeance.It's crazy, it's messy, it requires dangerous amounts of styling product. The glamour of the 1950s pompadour fused with punk, bad-ass, big 1980s hair.A hairstyle in which a strip of hair across the top of the head is longer and higher than the hair on the remainder of the head. A faux hawk is in the styling, not the cut, so there is nothing you need to know about cutting for this.

Why do people think this "Hairstyle" is cool or looks good? It could quite possibly be the gayest hairstyle that I have ever seen...but for some reason it is becoming more and more popular. Maybe because more and more flamers are coming out of the closet thanks to all this "Gay Pride" bullshit.

In my personal opinion, if you don't have big enough balls to sport the REAL "Mohawk" then you shouldn't even try by imitating a "Mohawk" with a "Fohawk".

Now these are some tight MOHAWKS:

If any "Hairstyle" should be popular it should be the infamous "Bowl Cut"

Will Ferrell is a MAN :UPDATE

UPDATE: This show can be seen tonight at 9pm and again at midnight. Set you DVR's people.

Has anyone else seen this episode of "MEN vs. Wild" featuring Bear Grylls and Will Ferrell? I caught the last 15 minutes of it the other day and laughed my dick off. Why was Ferrell on the show? Better yet, why hasn't he been hosting the show since day one. He's way better on his own that Bear is. Will started a fire and I'm pretty sure he drank his own urine. Bear would have died out there in the wilderness if it wasn't for Will's quick thinking and impeccable survival skills. I never heard one thank you come out of Bear's mouth either. What a stubborn piece of shit.

"CHOO CHOO"

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*This is about what our headquarters look like here at Riverfront Sports today. Well at least thats what I'm hearing. Big Donkey recieved a phone call at appox. 5:15am that informed me that our offices had been flooded last night. Doesn't sound like we'll be back in the office again this week so operations could be slower than normal.

*REDS: What the hell was Willy Taveres doing last night? If he's hurt he had no business playing in that game last night. He didn't look himself and it may have cost the Reds. Johnny Cueto goes tonight and he's pitched pretty damn well this season. I think he'll pitch another gem tonight but the question seems to be if we can put the runs behind him.

*Prediction: Kobe will go for 50+ in one game the NBA Finals. But he'll only have 5 chances to do it.

*Everyone talks about how the Josh Hamilton for Edinson Volquez trade was fair for both teams. Well it continues to be true as both are put on the 15 Day DL yesterday.

*UC Bearcats signed guard Jaquon Parker from Virginia. This seems like a pretty good get for the Bearcats. I still think they could use a few sharp shooters on this squad. For that to happen Mick is going to have to recruit more white kids.

*How do the Horse Racing expersts expect fringe fans to be attracted to this sport when there are are so many confusing issues. The best horses don't always race. The best jockey's jump from horse to horse. There is no single championship. There are no superstars. With that said....I love this sport and I think the 3 triple crown races are awesome. I understand why the greatest female horse of my generation isn't running this weekend. It makes sense not to risk injury if she's not a long runner. But I think with some organization and some planning Professional Horse Racing could be a sport that many would follow, if the sport made any sense at all.

*WAGER OF THE DAY (3-7): And the streak is over. I think I had lost 6 straight wagers but last night the ice cooled me off. Tonight we must do something that Peter Edward Rose would be proud of. Bet on Baseball. I'll take the over on 7.5 runs in the Reds and Cardinals game.

Kristin Cavallari Profile

Who is Kristin Cavallari you ask? Kristin got her start on the MTV hit show Laguna Beach where she shared her boyfriend with current Hills star Lauren Conrad. Thats not really the reason she is famous though. The reason she is famous is cuz she has a body that doesn't quit. She's smokin hot and seems to be so damn slutty she doesn't give a fuck. Word on the street is Kristin will be coming back to take Lauren's place on the Hills next season. Which means 1 thing. More smoking hot bikini ass shots of this young lady.
Best AZZet? Truthfully this girl has it all. From a decent sized rack to a smokin ass. She's got it all going on. Vote in the poll for your "1 Night Stand" with Kristin if you would like.

Greatest Game Ever

NHL '95 for Sega is the greatest video game ever created. No questions asked. Why did I just think about this?...I have no idea but I did and I'm that much sweeter for doing it. I'll whoop everyone's ass in this game as well. I haven't lost in 14 years. I'll beat you with Alexander Mogilny's lightning speed or I'll just whoop your ass with the Oilers. Either one, doesn't matter. I make Gretzky bleed.

"CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO"

Big Donkey's Solo Shots

*No Solo Shots yesterday. Sorry to all my fans out there. A loss of time and a 9 hole experience with Dennis Neagle and THE Andy Wellendorf took up most of my day.
*REDS: The boys pulled out a gutty performance last night. Lots of guys came up with big hits. This team sure is going to miss Joey Votto, but they are tough bunch of SOB's and aren't going to give up thats for sure. With Volquez leaving early last night I think you skip his next start, and this would mean we finally see Matt Maloney hopefully. Nick Masset has looked great this season out of the pen and some talk is flying around about him possibly being the next 5th starter. I kinda like where he is right now. We need a setup man since Burton has blown and was sent to AAA and Masset's stuff has been straight nasty. Tonight I expect big things from Bronson. He's been rolling of late and until I see a bad outing I will say he's going to get the win again.
*Yesterday rumors were flying on Kentucky websites that John Wall was going to go play in Greece next year and Xavier Henry was possibly still coming to UK. The next thing we'll hear out of Lexington is that Billy Clyde is taking the flowers of college girls and driving drunk at 3am. Oh wait.................
*For those that care, Phil Mickelson will be back for the US Open in a few weeks. What will be covered more that week.....Phil coming back or Tiger beating Rocco at last years US Open.
*Florida CB Janoris Jenkins was tazed last weekend after fighting a group of people that he accused of trying to steal his chain. Thats exactly what I was trying to tell the Lexington Police officer the night of my bachelor party when he pulled the tazer on me...
"Sir, these guys aren't my friends. I don't even know most of them. They just got me drunk, took me to a titty club, got me kicked out of 3 bars in 45mins, and then tried to steal my gold chain. Don't taze me bro, no no don't taze meeee!!!"
*MTV Movie Awards: Andy Samberg is pretty funny. Other than that this was retarted just like I expected. Megan Fox looked whorendous. Someone needs to force feed that sexy bitch a BigMac and SuperSized fry before she goes out. As for the most talked about event of the evening, Eminem getting a face full of cock. That was the most staged event I've ever seen. It really wasn't even that funny. The one thing I did like was Eminem back on stage performing. It made me really miss those day of pimp leanin' in the 94' Camry with the speakers blarrin' "Would the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up"
*WAGER OF THE DAY (2-7): Since Im hot like a fire cracker and debating on quitting the WAGER OF THE DAY part of the Solo Shots, Im going to get crazy tonight and bet on the ice to cool me off. Take the Penguins over Detroit. 20 bones down, Straight up.

Kim Kardashian Profile

As part of the "1 Night Stand" competition we will issue a profile of each of the contestants the rest of the way out. Our first profile is on Kim Kardashian.

Who is Kim Kardashian? Our answer seems to be "who gives a fuck". Seriously I looked for a decent picture of this slut for about an hour and half today and got nothing. There were a couple that struck me as sexy pics, ass shots of course. Even one with Reggie Bush rubbing his dick in her butt crack. But then it hit me lets go old school. Kim and Ray J days. Thats how she became famous. The rich bitch has a sex tape with Ray J (Moesha's/Brandy's Brother who never made it famous). Now from what I remember this sex tape wasn't too bad. But I don't have link for you, so check it for yourself. Most recently Kim has gotten even more famous due to her fams reality show, Kim sucking at Dancing With the Stars, and now she hopefully making new sex tapes with her NFL Stud RB boyfriend Reggie Bush.

Best AZZet? No brainer here. Kim's ass has made her a killing from day 1. From Ray J pounding the poop shoot to it growing to the size of two large planets. She has a nice face and very good set of tits but her ass has got her where she is today and possibly could take her to the finals of this contest. Vote in the poll for your "1 Night Stand" with Kim Kar if you would like.

Is that some Paris Poon?

I can't quite tell but I think Paris is showing her cum dumpster here . I know everyone has seen it already but does she really need to go "all naturale" at a club and skank herself out like this. Don't get me wrong, I love the sluttyness of her but someday she is gonna have to grow up. I wish everyone was mature as I am, the world would be a much better place.

"CHOO CHOO"

VOTE IN THE POLL

Today we start round two of the "1 Night Stand" poll. We hear at Riverfront Sports have decided to have 4 rounds of the "1 Night Stand" poll. The first round was won by Julianne Hough (pictures can be seen below).

Each day we will feature a profile and picture of 1 member of the current poll, just incase you readers don't know who the lovely ladies are. After the 4 rounds we will have 1 wildcard particpant and and then a final vote.

The final vote between the 4 champions and the wildcard winner will determine who is the First Lady of Riverfront Sports 2009.

Here are this weeks contestants:

Kim Kardashian

Kristen Cavalleri

Jenn Sterger
Stacy Keibler

American Idol Bikini Girl (Katrina Darrell)